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*I went to a general store. They wouldn't let me buy anything specific.
*The sign said "eight items or less". So I changed my name to Les.
*You know how it is when you go to be the subject of a psychology experiment, and nobody else shows up, and you think maybe that's part of the experiment? I'm like that all the time.
*In my house there's this light switch that doesn't do anything. Every so often I would flick it on and off just to check. Yesterday, I got a call from a woman in Germany. She said, "Cut it out."
*Right now I'm having amnesia and deja-vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.

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